Bias: The irrational inclination to believe that holding down a job or cooking some food for once is a more productive use of time than quilting.
Are you familiar with The Bitchy Stitcher? Megan Dougherty is the mastermind behind the blog that takes the idea of a stitch-n-bitch to a whole new level and she cracks me up.
I’ve been enjoying her sarcastic little rants for some time now, but now that I’ve read her new book, Quilting Isn’t Funny, I realized I’d missed out on some real gems.
Like everyone else on this book’s blog tour, I’ve snickered and snorted my way through it, publicly embarrassing myself and left unable to explain why it’s funny. You have to be a quilter to understand why I choked on my mocha when I read:
…But like all things of this world, fabric and tools and machines are impermanent and imperfect, and let’s face it, the only person who is going to bitch about my seams not aligning is that snotty lady from the quilt guild, and she can suck it.
This is what I love about Quilting Isn’t Funny. You’re just reading along, nodding “impermanent and imperfect” yeah, totally; “that snotty lady from the quilt guild” haha, I know exactly who she could be talking about and then bam, Megan hits you with her snark. “She can suck it” and I bust out an exhale of laughter.
And can I explain to my daughter why that’s funny… the imperfection, the snotty lady, the quilt police and the pointed dismissal of all criticism? No. I’m left laughing to myself in the kitchen while my daughter does homework and throws awkward glances at me.
Thanks for that, Megan.
Quilting Isn’t Funny is available now in softback on ebook versions. Whatever suits your fancy. Personally, I loved the electronic version, tucked neatly into the Kindle app on my phone, but you (or the loved ones you buy it for) may very well love the paper version.
Megan also offers up some fabulous pins with her witty little phrases that you should probably check out, too. My favorite is “Don’t make me cut you.” And that’s because of Miss Bon Qui Qui:
I could watch that another fifty times and still LMAO every single time.
And I’m pretty sure the same can be said for Quilting Isn’t Funny. It’s just good stuff. Buy yourself a copy and pick up an extra for your quilting pals.
Want to win a signed copy? Leave a comment and tell me something funny. Anything goes, but if it’s quilting/sewing/fabric related, I’ll throw in an extra entry for you.
When I first starting teaching- 40 years ago-one of my students threaded the machine from the bottom up. Needle first.
She wondered why it did not work.
When my children were younger we were riding in the car one day and discussing what everyone was going to dress up as for Halloween. My youngest daughter, very excitedly, says “I KNOW, I KNOW, we can wrap dad in aluminum foil and he can go as a left over”… I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard… he on the other hand was not amused….
I was making a t shirt quilt for my niece when I realized I had sewn one row of the blocks on upside down. I was ranting and my niece walked in to find out what was the matter. When I showed her she looked at me and said, ” Leave it that way so when I’m cuddled up in it I’ll be able to read those.” Talk about thinking out of the box and turning a mistake into a something good.
I asked my 3-year-old daughter this weekend if she wanted to make Christmas cards with me. Her response was “Right on, Mama!” I have no idea where she got that!
I am still not far enough removed from being a beginner quilter to find a lot of humour in my frustrations yet, but my almost 3 year old provides me with plenty laughter on the daily. A little while ago, he farted at the dinner and I said “What do you say when you have gas?” He replied, “Thank-you, gas!”
You know how annoying seagulls can be? I was making an art quilt with one on it, and I had fused the bird together & set it down on the couch right next to me, as I did some other parts. A few minutes later, I reach for it, ready to fuse it down – and I can’t find it! Took me a half hour to find it…RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE I HAD BEEN SITTING! Now, I find the exact right place for it on the quilt, peel off the backing & stick it there, then go to carry the whole thing to the ironing board. By the time I had walked those 5 steps, it was GONE! Dang, annoying seagull! (I did find it, on the floor at about step 2) It is now safely fused & stitched in place!
When one of my daughters (I think it was the last one) was little and I would ask her to put on her coat she would tell me that she couldn’t because it would make her all hotted up.
I was working for a child care center for internship this semester and overheard the children talking about one boy or ‘the 2 boys with one head’. I was thinking conjoined or something like that and just about died laughing when I found out that we had a set of twins.
I seem to be the designated mender in my family, anything from clothes, socks, stuffies and more. Over Thanksgiving I was called upon to fix Superman. I overheard my 4yo grandson tell his 3yo cousin that Grandma can fix anything, EVEN super heroes.
thanks u made my day w this! i love bon qui…on a recent trip to a fabric store i would have loved to use her technique on a VERY cranky shop lady….rude, don’t make me cut you or security would have been a perfectly funny way of handling it…xo
Whenever I go to the fabric shop, hubby likes to browse the hardware store next door. He always beats me back to the car. I usually have to give him a statement when I return like…did you see any bright lights in the sky? My watch seems to have stopped. I think I experienced missing time. I don’t think he appreciates it though. Merry Christmas from Oklahoma, USA. crystalbluern at onlineok dot com
My 4 year old grandson (at Halloween) said, “mom, that candy is going to have a date with my stomach!”
At my quilt guild’s program on our favorite quilting gadgets…I said my favorite is my credit card! Thanks for the chance!